Parenting and Family

10 important things to do in raising children

1. Look after yourself: your relationship with Allah, your needs, emotions, life management, read and learn parenting strategies etc – when you’re well, your kids will be well (as your the heartbeat of the family)

2. Teach them but allow them to learn on their own too…listening to them, asking about their feelings, if anything is bothering them at school, etc (the communication channel must be built and encouraged from a young age so that it remains open in the teenage years or harder times)

3. Make dua for them everyday for: Jannah, iman, physical health, mental health, good friends, good education, good spouse, good children, rizq, protection from shaitan, to be of good to humanity, etc

4. Accept them for the unique individuals they are: Don’t expect of them what you expect of yourself – relieve them from the burden of having to fulfil “your dreams” (you go out and achieve your dreams and leave them to their own; which may be very different from your own)

5. Be a good role model for them: in your ibadah, your relationship with their father/ mother, work ethics, dealing with people, etc

6. Respect them: choose your actions and words carefully; they’re a trust Allah (swt) Gave you to bless and test you…what will you do and who you will become as a result? Children are also like short stay guests in your home and will leave sooner than you think… treat your guests with kindness and love

7. Hug them everyday: human touch is essential especially to their emotional wellbeing (would recommend kissing them on the forehead too like the prophet (s) would kiss his daughter Fatima (ra))

8. Teach them Qur’an: teach them yourself or enrol them in classes – just make sure that as much as you invest in other areas for them (academic, health, sports, etc) that you invest also in what’s more important than all of the above; their relationship with the Quran… if they have the Quran in their hearts they will be happy! Raise them with the Quran so they grow up with it being part of their everyday life…

9. Emphasis in your daily interactions with your children essential values that they need to live by: the purpose of life, the compulsory duty towards justice, responsibility over our emotions, the temporary reality of this Dunia, etc

10. Provide good circles for them: create with whatever means and circumstances you have a weekly plan where they attend a Halaqah, go to purposeful gatherings/outings, have good friends over with kids their age, etc build this “village” for them (and yourself – because it does take a village to raise a child)

The world will be a better or worse place with the kind of people we raise… hence why I believe the core of almost all of our problems starts with parenting… let’s all renew our intention and try to do our part to the best of our ability… May Allah guide us and guide our offspring till the day of Deen…

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